If Only In My Dreams (Seven Brides Seven Brothers Book 5) Read online

  If Only In My Dreams

  Belle Calhoune

  Seven boys adopted from the foster care system by Alec and Maggie Donahue, a loving Irish couple living in Breeze Point, Cape Cod. Now grown men, the brothers are making their way in the world in their chosen professions, each hoping to find a love to last a lifetime. Faith. Family. Honor. And an abundance of love.

  Seven Brides, Seven Brothers series

  The Millionaire

  Self-made businessman Brandon Donahue has walked the halls of Ivy League colleges, conquered Wall Street and built up his small company into a multimillion dollar business. Now, after moving his company to Cape Cod, Brandon is back in the fold of his loving family. Dumped on live television by his supermodel girlfriend, Brandon is more humiliated than heartbroken. Yet he still yearns for the type of love his brothers have found.

  Principled beauty, Rose Maddock has been Brandon Donahue's secretary for five long years. And for all that time she's tried her best to find things about him to like. In her opinion, he's arrogant, and way too blunt for her liking. And he seems to think life revolves around his business. When Brandon moves the company to Cape Cod, Rose starts fresh in Breeze Point with her six year old son, AJ. When she strikes a bargain with Brandon that revolves around him including AJ in his family’s holiday events, she begins to see a whole new side of Brandon.

  But is it wise to mix business with pleasure?

  Seven Brides, Seven Brothers Series

  Book One. The Way Home. http://www.amazon.com/Home-Seven-Brides-Brothers-Book-ebook/dp/B00KTCBXSC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418439885&sr=8-&keywords=Belle+Calhoune+The+Way+Home

  Book Two. Still the One. http://www.amazon.com/Still-Seven-Brides-Brothers-Book-ebook/dp/B00M0EUU22/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418439960&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=Belle+Calhoune+Stil+the+One

  Book Three. Until You Loved Me. http://www.amazon.com/Until-Loved-Seven-Brides-Brothers-ebook/dp/B00N15TPFC/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1418440052&sr=1-1&keywords=until+you+loved+me

  Book Four. Love Me Tender. http://www.amazon.com/Love-Tender-Seven-Brides-Brothers-ebook/dp/B00OFAVB1I/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1418440130&sr=1-1&keywords=love+me+tender

  Dedicated to Donahue lovers everywhere!

  A note from Belle:

  Thank you for all the support, enthusiasm and love for this series. I love writing about the gorgeous Donahue boys and their amazing parents and the ladies they love. It's been so much fun for me as a writer. This book has been a long time coming and I appreciate everyone being patient, even though some of you emailed me and posted on my author page a lot asking for Brandon’s story. Some of you even said you had Donahue withdrawal. Too funny! And I love hearing from readers. Who's your favorite Donahue brother? Which lady love do you like the best? What was the best Donahue surprise? What should Blue and Sarah name their baby?

  I hope you enjoy Brandon and Rose’s story!

  Blessings,

  Belle

  Look for me at www.bellecalhoune.com or on Twitter @BelleCalhoune. Join me on Facebook at Author Belle Calhoune.

  Cover art by Niina Cord http://niinascoverdesign.weebly.com

  Copyright 2014 by Belle Calhoune

  All Rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher and author, except where permitted by law.

  Prologue

  It was a sweltering afternoon in Providence, Rhode Island. Nine year old Brandon Marsh was sitting outside in the back yard, using the garden hose to cool himself off. He sat down on the brick walkway, staring down at the missing bricks and the ones with cracks running through them. Dozens of ants began pouring out of the bricks and racing in all directions. He leaned his head in under the trickle of water coming from the hose. If it wasn’t so hot he might be tempted to investigate where the ant colony was situated under the bricks. He’d learned all about them in science and they fascinated him. So far, science was his favorite class.

  His mother’s raised voice shouted from inside the screen door. “Where’s your brother at?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno.” He heard the sound of the door opening, then the click clack of his mother’s shoes as she came down the stairs. Her feet came into his line of vision first. He stared down at the chipped nail polish on her toes. Cotton candy pink is what she called it. She put some on every night before she went to work at the dance club. Some boys on his street called it something else. A bad name he wasn’t supposed to say.

  She still had her robe on and her hair hadn’t even been combed. He’d made both breakfast and lunch for him and Lionel while she’d slept.

  Mama stayed out till four o’clock in the morning sometimes. And she left him alone at home with Lionel. They weren’t supposed to ever tell anyone about being left at home all night alone. Or about the strangers who sometimes came home with Mama. Lots and lots of men in and out of the house. He knew Papa wouldn’t like it, but he hadn’t been back home since last year. They’d been fighting all the time about how Papa liked to hang out at the race track and spend all the rent money. He’d heard them fighting and fussing about it all the time.

  He finally looked up at his mother as she began tapping her shoe on the walkway.

  She glared at him, her brown eyes looking almost black as they stared at him. “Why don’t you know? He’s your little brother, isn’t he?”

  “Yes. But I didn’t know—”

  Smack! His mother back handed him across the face. Her breath smelled of cigarettes and liquor. He hated those smells. He felt as if he couldn’t breathe when she got close to him.

  Brandon raised his hand to his cheek. His eyes teared up at the raw sensation on his skin. It hurt something awful. Why does she hate me so much? He asked himself for the thousandth time. Because I look like my Daddy. And she can’t stand to be reminded of him.

  “It’s your job to look after him. You’re the man of the house now. How many times I need to tell you that?” She began muttering under her breath.

  Man of the house? But he was only nine. He didn’t want to be a man till he was out of high school. And he was only in third grade. He didn’t feel even close to being a man.

  She reached down and grasped him by the arm, digging her long nails into his skin. She dragged him for a few feet then jabbed at him and told him to get up. As he shuffled up the porch stairs he felt a sharp jab in his lower back. Mama was pushing at the base of his spine with her fist. When he got to the top of the porch stairs, she yanked open the screened in porch door and pushed him through it.

  “You need to go on and find your little brother. Daddy is coming by later and he wants to see both of you.” He heard the slamming of her bedroom door. They probably wouldn’t see her again for the rest of the day. Then she’d slap some money down on the counter and tell them to buy some dinner for themselves. Then she’d head out to her dancing job, leaving them alone once again.

  But at least she’d given him some good news. Daddy was coming by today. Brandon felt a tight sensation in his chest. Although Daddy was nicer than Mama, he wasn’t around much, not since they’d split up. That’s what Daddy called it. Split up. Sometimes he wished he’d gone to live with him, but he knew he couldn’t up and leave Lionel. They were two peas in a pod. And who was he kidding? Daddy didn’t want nothing to do with raising kids. He’d overheard him once saying that to a waitress at the pancake house.

  Brandon put on a T-shirt and a pair of sneakers before heading out of th
e house to search for his brother. His mother had gone back into her room and slammed the door behind her. He wished that he could make her happy just once in his life. What he wouldn’t give to see Mama smile with joy.

  Where was Lionel? Brandon had looked for him everywhere. His little brother had a bad habit of sneaking away from the house without telling anybody where he was going. And every single time he was the one who got in trouble for it. Mama never considered Lionel her responsibility. Just his. Brandon accepted it most times since Lionel was a great kid and an awesome brother. Except for when he went sneaking off places. The first place he’d thought of was the fort out in the woods, but Lionel wasn’t there. And he wasn’t at the comic store neither. Or the ice cream stand.

  Brandon heard the wail of sirens before he spotted a few boys from the neighborhood zooming towards him on their bikes at breakneck speed. He heard his name being shouted, along with Lionel’s name. Confusion swirled around him. Jimmy, a boy in his class, stopped his bike right next to him and screamed out, “Brandon. They think Lionel might be in the river.”

  The river? Lionel knew he wasn’t supposed to go swimming in there. Mama and Daddy had said it a hundred times. Every summer some kid drowned in there due to the sudden drop in the river bottom. It was a dangerous place to swim, especially for a little kid like Lionel who could barely doggy paddle.

  “I’ll go get him,” he said with a sigh. “I’m going to wring his little neck.”

  Jimmy’s face seemed to lose all its color. “No, Bran. They think he might have drowned.”

  Brandon’s knees felt weak and a loud buzzing sound began to hum in his ears. He shook his head violently from side to side.

  No! It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. He took off running as Jimmy’s words trailed after him. It was a mistake. A mistake. Nothing bad had happened to Lionel. He never would have gone in the river since he couldn’t swim very well and he knew it was forbidden.

  “I wanna go down to the riverbank.” Lionel’s words from earlier this morning buzzed in his ear. He’d told Lionel not to go down to the river. But had he disobeyed him? Brandon ran to the riverbank so fast it felt like his lungs were on fire. His head felt fuzzy, almost as if he was dreaming. By the time he got there, police cars and ambulances were parked at the entrance. There was a crowd of people huddled around. He recognized several of them from his street. Mr. Nelson, one of the old-timers who sat in the park every day playing chess, turned towards him with a haunted look on his face. He walked toward him, staring at him with a look of sorrow.

  Mr. Nelson clapped a big hand on his shoulder and said, “Brandon, you’re going to have to be real strong. There’s no good way to say it, son. They pulled him out of the river. He’s gone.

  He began bucking wildly, trying desperately to break free from Mr. Nelson’s grip. He was wrong. Why was he lying to him about his brother? Nothing bad had happened to Lionel. It just wasn’t possible. “No! No! You’re lying to me. It’s not possible. It’s not possible” he screamed out.

  Mr. Parker continued to hold onto him. “Son, I was the one who identified the body. It was Lionel.” The old man’s shoulders began to shudder and he began to blubber like a baby. “Poor, sweet boy.”

  The world started spinning underneath him until his knees began to buckle. The last thing he remembered was screaming out Lionel’s name before everything faded to black.

  **

  When Brandon woke up he was in a hospital bed and all he could hear ringing in his ears were his mother’s words to him when the policemen had brought him back to the house. They’d offered his mother their condolences and she’d let out horrible wails and screams. If there was one person in this world Mama loved, it was Lionel. He’d always known that simple fact.

  “You were supposed to look out for him. He’s your responsibility. You should have protected him!”

  She’d hit him so hard he’d heard his jaw crack. The policemen had pulled her off him and then taken her to the station in handcuffs. He’d been taken to the hospital for a dislocated jaw. That’s what the doctor had told him. All he felt was a strange, numb feeling. He ached to see his brother, to hold him in his arms again. To feel that little head sleeping on his shoulder. To watch cartoons with him before school in the morning. And where was his father? He knew they’d called him and told him everything. Wasn’t he going to come get him? He hadn’t come by once.

  The sound of someone knocking on the door captured his attention. Was it daddy? “Come in,” he called out, praying he might see his six foot two father come walking through the door. A wave of disappointment flooded him as a gray haired, older woman popped her head around the door.

  “Hello, Brandon. I hope I’m not disturbing you. I’m Mrs. Worther.”

  She made her way towards his hospital bed and held out her hand to him. He reached out and shook hand, filled with curiosity about Mrs. Worther.

  “Who are you?” he blurted out. He never liked to beat around the bush.

  She smiled at him. “I work for social services. I place boys like you in safe, loving homes. Foster homes.”

  Brandon didn’t know what to say. He knew what social services was since they’d been coming to his house ever since he could remember. And foster homes were places you went when you didn’t live with your family anymore.

  Mrs. Worther reached out and squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry about your brother. I imagine you were really close.”

  “I was supposed to watch him,” he said in a dull voice. “It was my responsibility.”

  Mrs. Worther’s eyes widened. “You’re only nine years old, Brandon. Way too young to be responsible for another child. That’s a heavy weight to carry around on your shoulders.”

  He hung his head. “That’s what my Mama said. That it was all my fault. Is that why she’s gone and I’m here? Because I didn’t look after my brother and he drowned?”

  “Brandon, I know this may be hard to hear, but it’s a parent’s responsibility to look after their children. Your parents don’t seem capable of doing that. It wasn’t fair for them to expect you to do it.”

  “Where are they now….my parents?”

  “Your mother is in jail, Brandon. And your father …he can’t be located.”

  He wasn’t surprised. Not really. This wouldn’t be the first time his mother was in prison. And all his father cared about was spending money at the race track and casinos. And his mother had only ever loved Lionel. Not him. Never him.

  “And Lionel? Is he really dead? It wasn’t just a bad dream?”

  He saw tears shining in Mrs. Worther’s eyes. “Oh child, I wish he was still here with you, but he’s gone to heaven.”

  He felt his eyes widen. “Heaven? He’s really there?”

  “Oh yes, Brandon. He’s in heaven with the Lord where nothing can every hurt him again.”

  A sharp pain cut through his chest. He missed Lionel so badly. “I can’t wait to live there too one day, if I can get in. Mama always says what a bad boy I am. She said they don’t take boys like me in heaven.” Tears ran down Brandon’s face as he remembered the other, more cruel things she’d said to him. He was way too ashamed to ever tell a soul about them. They were seared onto his heart for all time.

  Mrs. Worther reached out and cupped his chin in her hand. She tilted his face upward so their eyes locked. “Brandon. You have a big heart. And I just know that someday you’ll be reunited with Lionel in heaven. But for now….you have a lot of living to do. And I have just the family for you. I’ve told them all about you and they can’t wait for you to join their little family.”

  A family? He’d never had a family before. Not really. Lionel had been his family. They’d slept in the same bed at night, whispered secrets in the hours between darkness and dawn and been each other’s best friend. And now he had to go on, to live without the best part of him.

  A family? Whoa. He liked the sound of it.

  “Their names are Maggie and Alec Donahue. They’re coming today to p
ick you up and take you to Cape Cod where there’s lots of sunshine and ocean and boats. And there are other boys there to grow up with and play with. I know nothing or no one can ever replace Lionel, but these boys will be your foster brothers.”

  Foster brothers. He wasn’t sure he liked the sound of it. But he didn’t have a choice. He wanted to ask Mrs. Worther a question, but it felt like something was stuck in his throat. She frowned at him, her kind face crinkled at the eyes and mouth. “Is there something you want to ask me?”

  “Could you—” he began. He let out a little cough. “Could you not tell them that I was the one who let my brother drown? I don’t want them to think I wasn’t a good brother.”

  “Oh Brandon.” Mrs. Worther reached for him and clasped him to her chest. She rubbed his back and said in a soothing voice, “I’ll tell them the truth. That you were the best brother in the world to Lionel. Absolutely the best.”

  Brandon knew Mrs. Worther was trying to make him feel better. She didn’t want him to feel badly about what he’d done. Or what he’d failed to do. But the truth had already wormed its way inside him. It was his fault. He hadn’t kept his eye on his baby brother. He hadn’t protected him. From this point forward, he vowed, he’d do anything he could to protect any brother God might give him.

  “Feeling sorry for yourself gets you nothing in this world. Pick yourself up and keep it moving.” Maggie Donahue

  Chapter One

  “Bah Humbug!” Brandon Donahue muttered as he walked in the bustling downtown area of Breeze Point, Cape Cod. If there was ever a year for him to have a Scrooge-like moment, it was going to be this year. It was barely December and all of Breeze Point was decked out in tinsel, Christmas trees and fancy, sparkling lights. Even his parents had already festively decorated their store window in holiday themed confections. Visions of sugar plums were dancing in everyone’s heads.