Love Me Tender (Seven Brides, Seven Brothers) Page 8

  Nick paused to consider how to phrase the news about reconnecting with Layla. He'd already dropped one bombshell tonight. Now, he was about to drop another. He cleared his throat and dived right in. “It's Layla. Layla Mason.”

  “Trudy's great niece?” Maggie asked in a shocked tone.

  “Yes. Trudy left her cottage to Layla in her will. She's come back to Breeze Point to fix it up and move in.” Although he rattled off the details casually, he felt anything but calm about Layla. Now that the shock had worn off about Loretta barging back into his life, he was wondering if he'd blown it with Layla by canceling their movie night.

  “I seem to recall hearing something about Trudy leaving the cottage to a family member, but I never heard anything more about it. I remember you two were glued to the hip that summer,” Maggie remarked. “She was a lovely girl. Smart as a whip too.”

  “F-First love,” Alec said. “I married my f-first love.” He sent a wink in Maggie's direction.

  Maggie walked over and cradled his head against her middle. She leaned down and pressed a kiss on top of his head. “Me too. We were very fortunate to find each other so quickly. We were blessed.”

  “And we still are,” Alec murmured, patting his wife's hand.

  Nick watched as his parents demonstrated the abiding love they shared with one another. Rather than dwelling on his mother's diagnosis or his father's recovery from the stroke, they were living in the moment and making the best of a difficult situation. In the weeks and months to come as the doctors continued to conduct tests on his mother, more definitive information would be revealed. As always, his parents would continue to walk in love.

  Without even knowing it, his parents had provided him with pearls of wisdom. First loves sometimes resulted in everlasting loves. He wished he'd had the strength to have believed that ten years ago. If he had, Layla might be his wife in the here and now.

  “I'm never going to fall in love. Boys have cooties!”

  An eight year old Layla

  Chapter Seven

  Nick felt more centered after leaving his parents' house. He didn't feel quite so out of sorts about Loretta's ambush at The Cove. It was as if his parents had wrapped him in their cocoon of love where no one or nothing could touch him.

  Thoughts of Layla continued to linger in Nick's mind long after he'd said goodnight to his parents. As he turned on to Harbor Lane he spotted lights on in Layla's cottage. On impulse, he decided to head over and apologize in person. It was the least he could do since he'd been a little abrupt earlier. Coming face to face with his biological mother had messed him up. A quick glance at his dashboard confirmed that it was nine o'clock. Although he didn't like the idea of just showing up at her door, he was fairly certain she'd still be awake.

  As soon as he drove up and parked in her pebbled driveway, the lights in the first floor went out. Hmm. Strange. Had Layla peeked out, seen his car and decided to send him a message? Or had he caught her just as she was preparing to turn in for the night? He walked up to the door and pressed the bell. He waited a beat, then pressed again. When Layla didn't come to the door, he began to rap gently on the cornflower blue door.

  “Layla! I know you're up. I saw all the lights on from down the road.” He gently knocked on the door again, hoping he wasn't crossing the line.

  A light came on outside. The door abruptly swung open. Layla stood in the doorway wearing a soft pink, long-sleeved T-shirt and a pair of plaid sweatpants. Her beautiful face was marred by a scowl. “What are you doing here at this hour?” she asked, her tone sharp and abrupt.

  “You didn't sound okay earlier when I called....I didn't want to let a night go by without apologizing to you directly for breaking our date. I'm so sorry about earlier.”

  Layla folded her arms across her chest. Her eyes were crackling with intensity. “I bet,” she snapped. “Not sure why you're here when you were so busy earlier that you canceled our date at the last minute.”

  Uh oh. Perhaps he should have sent a dozen roses in the morning rather than stop by at a time of night when she was clearly feeling cranky. He didn't have a lot of experience with riled up females, leaving him feeling a bit out of his depth.

  “Can I come inside so we can talk?”

  For a moment Layla didn't budge. She was standing in the doorway with her arms tightly folded across her chest. Her foot tapped impatiently on the hardwood floor. After a few moments, she rolled her eyes and gestured him aside, closing the door with a bang after he'd crossed the threshold.

  Tension crackled in the air between them. He felt as if he'd just stepped into the lion's den.

  “Why are you so...angry?” He hadn't expected this reaction. Without fail, Layla was always calm and placid. He didn't think he'd ever seen her so upset. Not once.

  “Why? You want to know why?” She threw her hands up in the air and huffed out a breath. “Because I waited for you. For hours. It was loud and noisy and the wind was whipping straight through me, but I waited. I was acting on nothing more than faith. Faith in you. In us. In what I thought we shared.”

  “What? You were outside? Tonight?” His brain felt fuzzy, and he knew he wasn't connecting the dots. The look of fury stamped on Layla's face brooked no argument. All at once, it hit him. She wasn't referencing tonight. She was talking about ten years ago when they were supposed to have met at Times Square. She'd been there. He hadn't.

  He shook his head, a feeling of disbelief sweeping over him. “You said that you weren't there.”

  “I lied,” she said through clenched teeth. “To save face. Because I couldn't bear you knowing how humiliated and devastated and broken up I was when you didn't show up that night. And tonight, when you bailed on me, it triggered that memory from ten years ago.”

  “Layla,” he said with a groan. “I was wrong to stand you up back then. So very wrong. I loved you.” He let out a harsh laugh. “All this time and I've never been able to figure out why I bailed on you....on us. Until now.”

  Layla turned towards him, her movements hesitant. She didn't say a word. It was obvious that she was waiting for him to open up. He moved towards her, easily swallowing up the space between them in two quick strides. When he was standing mere inches away from her, he reached down and tilted her chin upward with his thumb and forefinger. He forced her to look at him when he knew if she had her way he'd still be standing outside her door.

  “I was scared. Terrified of going to New York City to meet you and running the risk of rejection. In my heart I knew you'd be there. But in my head—there was so much doubt.”

  “You don't think I had doubts?” she seethed, jerking her chin away from him. “I had a chance to take a role with the Russian Ballet Company. I would have been dancing with some of the premier ballerinas in Europe. But I turned it down. To come back to you. My faith in us couldn't allow me to follow a path that led us away from each other.”

  She took a deep breath. “And you could have reached out to me, Nick. Sure, I was in Paris for a time and out of touch, but if you were having doubts...you could have tried to reach out to me through my parents or Julliard. You could have written me a letter.”

  He nodded his head, acknowledging her statements. “I could have done all of those things.”

  “But you didn't!” The accusation flew in the air, smacking him straight in the face. Even if he had to stay here all night and state his case, he was going to try and make Layla understand what he'd been up against.

  Nick shoved his hand through his hair. “Layla! I made the biggest mistake of my life that day. I lost faith in us. I stumbled.”

  She let out a hollow laugh. “While you stumbled, I came undone. Losing you sent me on a downward spiral. And it took me years to get myself together.” She poked a finger in his chest. “You wanted to know why my marriage failed, didn't you? I could see it in your eyes when I talked about my divorce. Well let me enlighten you. I met Grant a year after our relationship fell apart. We had a whirlwind courtship. On the day we said our
vows I still loved you. I married him on the rebound. And I stood before God and promised to love him until death parted us.” She raised her hand to her mouth, letting out a wounded cry. “So you see. It was doomed from the beginning. I married a man I didn't really love. So let me ask you, what kind of person does that make me?”

  “Even when things fell apart with Sarah, I always knew she was the one.”

  Blue Donahue

  Chapter Eight

  “It makes you human.” Nick's words, spoken so simply, instantly wormed their way into her heart.

  Hearing Nick's simple words instantly buoyed her spirits. It was hard holding on to so much guilt for such a long period of time. She needed to explain herself a little more, so that he completely understood her history with Grant.

  “I cared for him. I even thought I was in love with him. But on our wedding day it all crashed down on me. I knew that I wasn't in love with him. My parents had flown in to France for the wedding. There were one hundred guests waiting at the church. I went ahead with the wedding when something in my soul told me it was all wrong.” This was the first time she'd ever told a single person about her sin. She hadn't ever wanted anyone to know. She'd fear the judgment that would come along with her disclosure. The truth was, she'd judged herself way more than anyone else ever could.

  “Did you grow to love him over time?” Nick asked, his expression shuttered.

  “Yes, Nick. I grew to love him. He was my husband, and I took those vows seriously. I honored him, and I loved him, and I was faithful to him.”

  “Then you have nothing to be ashamed of, Layla.” Nick's voice was steady and sure. He sounded so certain. And supportive. His kindness and understanding made her feel ashamed.

  All this time she'd been harboring anger towards him for something he'd done when they were teenagers. He'd been human too, she realized. They'd both been young. Barely nineteen. The love they'd shared had been sidelined by doubt and insecurity and their ages. What she'd perceived as an act of betrayal by Nick hadn't been that at all.

  And the choices she'd made regarding her marriage to Grant had been hers and hers alone. She couldn't lay that at Nick's feet. It wasn't his fault. And she didn't want to see a look of pity in his eyes if she came clean about why she'd fled Seattle. She'd already exposed one skeleton tonight. And where would she start anyway? For far too long she'd stayed with a man who used his fists to punish her and keep her in her place. How could she make Nick understand that she'd been trapped by fear and uncertainty and self-doubt?

  She let out a calming breath. “You're right. I am human. And one of the things I need to learn to do is forgive myself.”

  Forgiveness. It was such a difficult concept. The Bible spoke about forgiving others, but she'd never really heard anyone talk about forgiving oneself. She'd been so young and naïve when she'd been swept off her feet by Grant. He'd appeared in her life like a brilliant rainbow after a summer storm. He'd known all the right ways to compliment and encourage her. He'd lifted her up during a dark period in her life when she'd been mistrustful of men due to Nick's abandonment of her. It was only later that the layers had been peeled back and she'd been forced to realize that Grant was her worst nightmare come to life. A wolf in sheep's clothing!

  Nick's soothing voice washed over her, serving to provide a sense of calm. “You're absolutely right. Forgiving ourselves can be the first step towards healing. When I was a kid, I blamed myself for being taken from the home and placed in the foster care system. I kept thinking if I'd been smarter or better or worthier, I wouldn't have landed in my predicament.” Nick shook his head, his expression tinged with pain. “Finally, I was able to let myself off the hook. I was just a kid...a small, defenseless kid who wanted nothing more in life than to be loved and protected. You're blaming yourself for seeking those same things. Do you see the parallel?”

  “Yes, I do, Nick. That's all I ever wanted also. I wanted a strong, faithful marriage where my husband would be my best friend and protector. I wanted the love we shared to shelter us against any of the storms that might rage around us.” She let out a bitter laugh. “Little did I know the storms would tear our very foundation down.”

  She knew with her last comment she'd piqued Nick's curiosity. There was so much she'd conveyed with a few of her word choices. It was so very difficult to keep a lid on her secret. One of these days all would be revealed. Moment by moment she and Nick were growing ever closer. It was hard to keep secrets under those circumstances.

  “I'm happy you're not in an emotionally unhealthy situation anymore. And I'm not going to pry about the particulars. It's none of my business.” He dipped his head down until they were eye to eye. A look of hope radiated from his coffee colored eyes. “I hope you can forgive me for bailing on you tonight.” He was staring at her with an intensity that reached right down into her soul and tugged at it.

  “Of course I forgive you.” She looked away from Nick, as a sudden feeling of shyness took hold of her. “It just triggered some anger I've been holding onto....about the way things ended between us.”

  Nick reached out and grabbed her hand. He squeezed it tightly before letting it go. “I don't blame you for being angry at me. We made a promise to each other. And I didn't have the substance to see it through. Our relationship wasn't just some casual thing. It was an intense connection.”

  “It was the real thing,” she murmured. “I've always known that.”

  He placed his hands over his heart. “So again, please accept my humble apologies. I wasn't in the right place emotionally to go out with you tonight. I should have been straight with you, Layla.”

  “I didn't even ask you if everything was okay. When you called, you said something came up related to work.”

  “This morning something did happen.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It rocked my world. I can't even—”

  “What is it?” She moved toward him and placed her hand on his forearm. “Oh no. Please tell me nothing's happened to your parents.”

  Their gazes locked. She could see the turmoil swirling in his eyes. She'd been so furious with him about canceling their date that she hadn't even paid attention to his wrecked state of mind. There was a shadow hanging over him.

  “No, my parents are fine. But—today has been a crazy day.” He chewed on his lip.

  “Because?” she prodded.

  “I had a visitor this morning at the restaurant.”

  “The IRS?” she asked. Her little attempt at lightening the mood earned her a slight smile from Nick.

  “Thankfully, it wasn't. But it was just as shocking. My birth mother stopped by.”

  His birth mother? The one who'd abandoned him for nearly two weeks during which he'd been home alone and left to fend for himself?

  “What? Are you serious?”

  Nick's expression was somber. “I wouldn't joke about something like that.”

  Whoa This was something earth shattering. Life altering. It was difficult to even wrap her head around it. She couldn't imagine how Nick was even processing his birth mother's surprise visit.

  “Why don't we head into the kitchen,” Layla suggested. “I just made a batch of lemonade this afternoon.” She led the way into her cozy kitchen and pulled a pitcher of lemonade from the fridge. She pulled two glasses from the cupboard and filled them up. After a few seconds of rummaging, she came across a bag of chocolate chip cookies. Gingerly, she placed them on a plate and pushed them to the middle of the table as Nick settled into his seat.

  “These aren't half as good as Sweet Treats, but they're a good fix for a sweet tooth.”

  “I'm not sure what's sweeter. The lemonade or the chocolate chip cookies,” Nick said with a laugh as he polished off a cookie.

  Layla settled in to her seat next to him. “Oh, Nick. I'm sorry. I know it must have been a shock to see her after all this time. To have her walk back into your life like that is overwhelming.”

  He nodded. She could see the raw emotion stamped on his face. I
t made her feel even guiltier about lashing out at him. “She walked right into the Cove as I was up to my elbows in work. You could have knocked me over with a feather.”

  “Did you remember her at all?”

  He shrugged, a slight frown on his face. “Not really. Maybe a little. I had this image pop into my brain of her standing by my side when I first learned to ride a bike.”

  “What did she want? Did she say?”

  Nick shrugged. “Redemption. Or so she said.”

  “You don't believe her?”

  “It's hard to believe anything she says considering everything that went down in the past.”

  “How did you leave things with her?”

  “She gave me her business card. I trashed it.”

  She let out a gasp. “Nick! Did you really?”

  “You think I should have kept it?”

  She held her hands up. “I have no idea. I just don't want you to do anything you might regret later. It's normal for an adopted child to have questions about his birth parents. Even if you decide not to move towards forgiveness, you might want to sit down and have a cup of coffee with her one day. Just to ask questions, Nick.”

  “I ended up putting the business card in my pocket.” He ran his fingers along the rim of the glass. “I'm not sure I have questions for her. She abandoned me, Layla. She left me home alone for twelve days during which I had to fend for myself. I've never told a soul the whole truth of what I went through—the fear, the desperation, the hunger.” He ran his hand across his face. “You want to know what I remember? I remember crying out for her at night, and she wasn't there. That's what I remember! And I remember being so scared that I would wet the bed at night. Then I'd wash the sheets every morning. How many seven year old do you know who can wash sheets?”

  Although Nick had given her the run-down on the circumstances behind his adoption years ago, he'd never gone into such detail. Imagining a pint-sized version of Nick going through such hell threatened to crack her heart straight down the middle.